recession_wealth
5 months ago
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life.
Let’s talk about how to set good boundaries, especially in your day-to-day life, including with the people you care about:
Know it’s okay to have your own space: You don't need to feel bad for wanting some time or things to yourself. It’s like having a fence in your yard. It shows where your space begins and ends, and you have the right to that space.
Figure out what stresses you: Pay attention to what makes you upset or tired. Maybe you don’t like being interrupted when you’re doing something important, or perhaps you get stressed if someone drops by your house without warning. These are signs you need a boundary there.
Tell people what you need: Once you know what your limits are, tell people about them in a simple way. If you don’t like unexpected visitors, you might say, “Please call me before you come over.”
Use easy words: When you’re setting your boundaries, just be straightforward. Say something like, “I’m busy now, can we talk later?” This keeps things clear and simple.
Don’t feel bad about it: Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. You can be a good friend or family member and still look out for yourself.
Practice saying no: If saying no feels hard, try it out in less tricky situations first to get used to it. Maybe start by turning down an offer to go out when you’re really tired.
Keep your boundaries firm: If someone keeps doing something you’ve asked them not to, remind them of your boundaries. Stick to what you’ve set. It’s important for your peace of mind.
Get help if it’s hard: If you find it tough to keep your boundaries, or if people keep ignoring them, it might help to chat with a friend or even get advice from a counselor.
In relationships, setting boundaries is super important. For example, if you’re always the one making plans or doing favors and it’s wearing you out, tell the other person. You might say, “I need us to share planning our hangouts,” or “Can you help out more?” This isn’t about starting a fight; it’s about making sure the relationship is fair and good for both of you.
By setting these boundaries, you help ensure that your relationships are healthy and that you’re looking after your own needs and feelings as much as you care for others. It’s all about balance and making sure everyone knows what’s okay and what’s not.
For young people building wealth and improving themselves: Setting financial and personal improvement boundaries is just as crucial. Decide how much time and money you’re willing to spend on your goals each month. For example, you might set a rule for yourself to save 20% of any money you make or dedicate two hours a day to learning a new skill or building your business. Just like with personal boundaries, be firm but reasonable with yourself. If friends invite you out to eat often, you might need to say, “I’m saving money for my business, so I can’t join you this time.” This way, you protect your resources and keep pushing towards your goals.
This article is a summary of the book "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life?" written by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend and was published in 1992. The book focuses on personal development, specifically around setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in various aspects of life including relationships, work, and family.
The authors use a mix of psychological theory, biblical principles, and practical advice to help readers learn when to say yes and how to say no, so as to take better control of their lives. They explore how clear boundaries can help individuals determine their responsibilities and guide them in living by their values and limits. The book has been highly influential in the self-help and counseling fields, helping many people to improve their interpersonal relationships and personal well-being.
If you want to download the book for free, use this link: https://www.pdfdrive.com/boundaries-when-to-say-yes-how-to-say-no-to-take-control-of-your-life-e60363043.html
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